1. Sweet Sweet Sweet Pudding
The message inside this card is:
Burning coal, oil and gas is changing our climate, bringing storms, floods and famine and making living species extinct on an epic scale. Science knows about this as certainly as we know how to make aeroplanes fly, so there's no doubt.
The oil business don't want to stop collecting billions from us so its bosses paid some people to claim that the science is not certain or even not true. If they even delay us fixing our gas-guzzling ways whole populations will be forced to move and fight wars over land and food.
Donald Trump is on the side of his sweet, sweet, sweet oil baron friends and loudly proclaims their worst lies even though it will bring disaster to every human being and to generations not yet born.
We can only hope for blowback.
Better Party Hard.
Merry Christmas!
The message inside this card is:
Burning coal, oil and gas is changing our climate, bringing storms, floods and famine and making living species extinct on an epic scale. Science knows about this as certainly as we know how to make aeroplanes fly, so there's no doubt.
The oil business don't want to stop collecting billions from us so its bosses paid some people to claim that the science is not certain or even not true. If they even delay us fixing our gas-guzzling ways whole populations will be forced to move and fight wars over land and food.
Donald Trump is on the side of his sweet, sweet, sweet oil baron friends and loudly proclaims their worst lies even though it will bring disaster to every human being and to generations not yet born.
We can only hope for blowback.
Better Party Hard.
Merry Christmas!
2. Santa Heads Off
The message inside this card is:
In WW II the French resistance decapitated enemy motorbike despatch riders by stringing steel piano wire across the road, too fine to see in time. With the war over, resistance veterans and their colleagues set up a European union so that the nations of Europe would never again suffer the diseases of Nazism and war. It worked, bringing Europe the longest lasting peace in its history, human rights and a Santa's sack full of goodwill.
In 2016 to persuade people to throw away this tremendous advance won at such great cost, Boris Johnson claimed the EU was completing the nazis' project, styling himself now as the resistance. Hitler himself held that the successful lies are the biggest ones. Boris Johnson is a thoroughly moral human being, then.
Better Party Hard.
Merry Christmas!
The message inside this card is:
In WW II the French resistance decapitated enemy motorbike despatch riders by stringing steel piano wire across the road, too fine to see in time. With the war over, resistance veterans and their colleagues set up a European union so that the nations of Europe would never again suffer the diseases of Nazism and war. It worked, bringing Europe the longest lasting peace in its history, human rights and a Santa's sack full of goodwill.
In 2016 to persuade people to throw away this tremendous advance won at such great cost, Boris Johnson claimed the EU was completing the nazis' project, styling himself now as the resistance. Hitler himself held that the successful lies are the biggest ones. Boris Johnson is a thoroughly moral human being, then.
Better Party Hard.
Merry Christmas!
3. List We Forget
The message inside this card is:
In each country they invaded in WW II the Nazis got the populace to make lists of who was Jewish in workplaces and schools. These were who they wanted everyone to blame for poor living conditions and lack of resources. Then they made those listed wear a star symbol on an armband and finally tattooed a number on their arms in concentration camps and killed them, even children and babies.
In 2016 Theresa May's party announced her plan to make lists of foreigners in workplaces, who she wants everyone to blame for poor living conditions and lack of resources. When it was pointed out that she might as well tattoo a number on their arms someone else said on her behalf that the plan had been dropped the next day. However it was later leaked that her earlier plan to make lists in schools of the children of unwanted foreigners, though met with rightful horror at the time, has nevertheless been brought in with her rise to power. If she's determined to copy the past we've got just eight years until we're shovelling babies into ovens.
Better Party Hard.
Merry Christmas!
The message inside this card is:
In each country they invaded in WW II the Nazis got the populace to make lists of who was Jewish in workplaces and schools. These were who they wanted everyone to blame for poor living conditions and lack of resources. Then they made those listed wear a star symbol on an armband and finally tattooed a number on their arms in concentration camps and killed them, even children and babies.
In 2016 Theresa May's party announced her plan to make lists of foreigners in workplaces, who she wants everyone to blame for poor living conditions and lack of resources. When it was pointed out that she might as well tattoo a number on their arms someone else said on her behalf that the plan had been dropped the next day. However it was later leaked that her earlier plan to make lists in schools of the children of unwanted foreigners, though met with rightful horror at the time, has nevertheless been brought in with her rise to power. If she's determined to copy the past we've got just eight years until we're shovelling babies into ovens.
Better Party Hard.
Merry Christmas!
4. Waist Ham Fan
The message inside this card is:
While a student at Oxford, David Cameron belonged to the Bullingdon club, whose rich, privileged members met up to get drunk and treat those around them with violent contempt. Their acts are portrayed in the play Posh and the film The Riot Club. In 2015 an insider revealed that Cameron's initiation into another Oxford drinking club demanded of him a sex act with a pig's head, surely as a gift to cartoonists.
When prime minister, Cameron sold off the Royal Mail, previously publicly owned, for a knock-down price. This specified that sixteen friends of his got to cream off half of the three quarters of a billion pounds profit in three days for nothing in return in a "gentleman's agreement". As the pig remarked; he's no gentleman. He never phones, he never writes...
Boris Johnson also belonged to the Bullingdon club at the same time. In 2015 their political aides swept up every photo they could find of their time there together. So, what, there's worse?!
Better Party Hard.
Merry Christmas!
The message inside this card is:
While a student at Oxford, David Cameron belonged to the Bullingdon club, whose rich, privileged members met up to get drunk and treat those around them with violent contempt. Their acts are portrayed in the play Posh and the film The Riot Club. In 2015 an insider revealed that Cameron's initiation into another Oxford drinking club demanded of him a sex act with a pig's head, surely as a gift to cartoonists.
When prime minister, Cameron sold off the Royal Mail, previously publicly owned, for a knock-down price. This specified that sixteen friends of his got to cream off half of the three quarters of a billion pounds profit in three days for nothing in return in a "gentleman's agreement". As the pig remarked; he's no gentleman. He never phones, he never writes...
Boris Johnson also belonged to the Bullingdon club at the same time. In 2015 their political aides swept up every photo they could find of their time there together. So, what, there's worse?!
Better Party Hard.
Merry Christmas!
5. Present Danger
The message inside this card is:
In the 1930s the Nazis wanted everyone to blame people with dark skins or big noses, and also gay, disabled or left-wing thinkers, for the poor standard of living. A propaganda film showed a queue of southern Europeans waiting to get into the country while a voiceover said it was to steal and rape. Once in power the Nazis killed them, even the children and babies.
In 2016 UKIP tweaked the same Nazi propaganda image for its poster and its leader publicly warned that people from southern Europe were more often rapists. The prime minister promised to help UKIP with its aims instead of advising them where it would be best to stick their poster.
Better Party Hard.
Merry Christmas!
The message inside this card is:
In the 1930s the Nazis wanted everyone to blame people with dark skins or big noses, and also gay, disabled or left-wing thinkers, for the poor standard of living. A propaganda film showed a queue of southern Europeans waiting to get into the country while a voiceover said it was to steal and rape. Once in power the Nazis killed them, even the children and babies.
In 2016 UKIP tweaked the same Nazi propaganda image for its poster and its leader publicly warned that people from southern Europe were more often rapists. The prime minister promised to help UKIP with its aims instead of advising them where it would be best to stick their poster.
Better Party Hard.
Merry Christmas!
6. The Last Trump
The message inside this card is:
Donald Trump has said that under him the US will go back on world agreements to try to control nuclear weapons. More than that, he encourages even more nations, such as South Korea and Japan, to arm up with nuclear weapons of their own. Chillingly, he asks; What's the point of making them if you don't use them?
The bible says the world will end with the sound of "the last trump". If this scares you, trump is the word in the north of England for the sound your bottom just made.
Better Party Hard.
Merry Christmas!
The message inside this card is:
Donald Trump has said that under him the US will go back on world agreements to try to control nuclear weapons. More than that, he encourages even more nations, such as South Korea and Japan, to arm up with nuclear weapons of their own. Chillingly, he asks; What's the point of making them if you don't use them?
The bible says the world will end with the sound of "the last trump". If this scares you, trump is the word in the north of England for the sound your bottom just made.
Better Party Hard.
Merry Christmas!
7. Yet To Come
The message inside this card is:
In Charles Dickens' A Christmas Carol the miser Scrooge badly needs his kindness towards his fellow human beings awakened. In a vision the robed, silent Spirit of Christmas Yet To Come shows Scrooge the future where his tombstone is neglected and nobody is sorry that he's dead. The insight causes a sea change in his heart.
Theresa May as Home Secretary worked hard to break international law and refuse entry to Britain for child refugees from war. This unspeakable turning our back on our behalf allowed traffickers to exploit fleeing families and thousands drowned trying to reach Europe. The image of one dead toddler washed up on the beach released a wave of action by the public to help the refugees. In her inhumanity May is in a class of her own, badly needing awakening.
Some now forever yet to come
It's not too late for everyone.
Better Party Hard.
Merry Christmas!
The message inside this card is:
In Charles Dickens' A Christmas Carol the miser Scrooge badly needs his kindness towards his fellow human beings awakened. In a vision the robed, silent Spirit of Christmas Yet To Come shows Scrooge the future where his tombstone is neglected and nobody is sorry that he's dead. The insight causes a sea change in his heart.
Theresa May as Home Secretary worked hard to break international law and refuse entry to Britain for child refugees from war. This unspeakable turning our back on our behalf allowed traffickers to exploit fleeing families and thousands drowned trying to reach Europe. The image of one dead toddler washed up on the beach released a wave of action by the public to help the refugees. In her inhumanity May is in a class of her own, badly needing awakening.
Some now forever yet to come
It's not too late for everyone.
Better Party Hard.
Merry Christmas!
